I was aboard an early morning flight from London to some European city which I can’t currently recall. I went on hundreds of business trips that after more than a decade of retirement, all seem to run together. I was dressed in a business suit and sitting in an economy aisle seat with two businessmen to my left. After an hour or so of cramped sitting, we landed and my focus was to get off the plane and walk out of the airport.
Once the plane speakers dinged, the passengers stood up to retrieve their belonging, then slowly exited the plane. I knew from so many flights that immediately standing up meant being squeezed together with all the other standing passengers in uncomfortable positions with nowhere to move. Instead, I remained in my seat until those passengers a couple of rows in front of me started walking towards the exit door.
As I sat there, a tall Dutchman in the seat in front of me stood up, opened the overhead bin, and pulled out his carry-on luggage. Given the cramped quarters, I am always leery when a person near me takes out their stored bags. The man was in his thirties and large enough to handle an overnight bag … or so I thought. His bag dropped down and hit my head which stunned me. I looked up and expected him to offer an apology. After looking at him for five seconds, he said, “Why are you staring at me?” Stunned, I said, “If you don’t know, then God bless you.” The man turned and exited the plane as I rose to get my belongings.
What I expected to happen was for the Dutchman to say that he was sorry that he dropped his bag on my head and ask me if I was ok. I thought this was a normal human response to what was clearly his fault, an accident that could have injured me. Was I the one, by looking incredulous at this stranger, who was at fault? No, the fault was his and if this incident had happened in reverse, I would have instantly offered an apology and asked if the person was hurt.
What prevents a person from forgiving? If we examine the situation from the injured person’s point-of-view, they benefit from forgiving the offending person. The American Psychological Association (APA) stated that forgiveness is beneficial as it removes the negative emotions from blocking our emotions, minds, and energy, thus freeing the injured person to move on. Holding a grudge is actually bad for your health.
What about the person who caused the injury? If the person does not believe that they did anything wrong, there is little the injured person can do about it unless it is a criminal act. Then, a court of law will determine if a crime was committed, not the injured person. The perpetrator is not required to seek forgiveness nor make restitution. You can lead a horse to water but can’t make the guilty drink from the fountain of forgiveness. I knew that seeking an apology from the Dutchman was meaningless when he did not care that his bag dropped on my head. Angry words from me towards his inconsiderate actions would not have removed the bump on my head. This was not a teachable moment because the Dutchman did not care. It was better to move on.
Forgiveness is central to Christian theology. Jesus lived within the Roman Empire where might made right. Only the strongest and most intelligent ruled under the Roman evolutionary culture. The weak, such as slaves and the poor, were exploited and killed with impunity. It was an up or out society. Then Christ preached his Serman on the Mount: “But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also. (Matthew 5:39) … “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12)
The ultimate act of forgiveness was performed as Christ hung on the cross suffering without doing anything wrong. “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) If Jesus can forgive while dying on a cross, I certainly can forgive after getting hit on the head by a carry-on bag. I might be angry for an hour, but I know that it is far better to forgive and move on rather than endlessly stewing over the incident.
As the Christian movement started to grow and expand, the evolutionary culture started to slowly adopt the Christian belief that might does not make right. The weak, diseased, and exposed are to be cared for, not trampled. Those who sin and seek restoration should be granted mercy and welcomed back into society. Justice is administered to all, no matter your economic or societal status. Humility is a core value, not hubris. Rulers are to work towards uplifting society, not themselves. Jesus prayed “your kingdom come” (Matthew 6:10) to describe a world where forgiveness reigns.
Righteousness occurs when one humbly offers and joyfully receives forgiveness. This is wonderfully illustrated in Luke’s parable of the prodigal son. (Luke 15:11–32) It is a story of a father running to embrace his returning wayward son. Instead of condemning his sins, the father forgives and rejoices. The son expects punishment for his sinful actions yet is given a welcoming feast. Forgiveness is a basic Christian requirement so dearly needed in our post-modern world; and still is powerful enough to usher in the Kingdom.
