I am always on the lookout for good books, especially ones recommended by friends or new subjects that I have not explored. I was glancing through the Wall Street Journal book reviews when I noticed The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz, Simon & Schuster, New York (NY), 2023). Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and Schulz is a professor of psychology at Bryn Mawr College. They direct the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a longitudinal study that followed two generations of individuals from the same families for more than eighty years.
The focus of the study was to understand what made people healthy. The study began in the 1930s with two groups. The first group included 268 sophomores at Harvard College. They were selected “because they were deemed likely to grow into healthy and well-adjusted men.” (p. 11) The second group was 456 inner-city Boston boys who grew up in troubled families and disadvantaged neighborhoods but had mostly avoided juvenile delinquency. Greater than sixty percent had at least one parent who immigrated to the U.S., most from Europe and the Middle East.
The study began with participant interviews, followed by medical exams and parental interviews. Every two years, lengthy questionnaires were sent out as the participants aged. Follow-up interviews with each participant were completed every five years. The researchers took “notes on how they look and behave, their level of eye contact, their clothes, and their living conditions. … blood samples, DNA samples, and reams of EKG, fMRI, EEG, and other brain imaging reports.” (p. 15) After marriage, spouses were interviewed along with their children. Most of the original participants have died; however, their offsprings continued to participate in the study. Female and racial groups were later added to the study because the original two groups were all male and predominately white.
“Eighty-four percent of our First Generation participants continued their involvement for their entire lives. … 68 percent of their children agreed to take part in the Second Generation study.” (p. 276) This high participation rate exceeds most longitudinal studies. The Harvard Study of Adult Development was fortunate to receive funding over the decades, and their research continues today.
I encourage you to read this 281-page book, but I will give you the first finding and punchline: “Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.” (p. 278) Before civilizations were created, our DNA was wired for relationships. They are fundamental to our being; we can’t exist without relationships. Individuals are born into a relational culture that was created prior to their existence. “Connection is fundamental to a flourishing life.” (p. 279) This basic fact has been confirmed in hundreds of other studies on happiness across cultures, genders, and racial groups.
Your past life does not define your future life. “It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you are in the life cycle, whether you are married or not married, introverted or extroverted; everyone can make positive turns in their life.” (p. 274) If you lack positive relationships now, you can still obtain positive relationships. The privileged Harvard sophomores scored both high and low happiness scores as did the low-income inner-city Boston boys. A low economic and troubled environment does not necessarily result in low happiness. Some of the happiest individuals had difficult and tragic childhoods.
As I reflected on this research after my six decades of life, I am not surprised by the results. I was surrounded by positive relationships throughout my life and consistently felt happy. I am blessed with supportive family members who love me unconditionally. I still connect with high school friends who care about my personal well-being, as I care about theirs. I still have relationships with work colleagues after retirement. I meet weekly with Christian friends, and we wrestle with life and theological issues. My spouse stands by me despite my imperfections. I am mentally and physically healthier because of my relationships.
The Bible is a book about relationships, both spiritual and human. It contains examples of both positive and destructive relationships. Its essence is summed up in Matthew 22:36–39. ”Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He [Jesus] said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
Relationships flourish by loving others in fellowship. Technology has improved the world but cannot replace physical time with friends and family. Take inventory of your relationships. Who contacted you when you needed help and listens intently when you speak? What individuals can instantly connect with you where you last left off? What relationships need improvement or revival? It is never too late to change, broaden, or start relationships. Your happiness depends on it.
